Most mornings I wake up and I feel an internal struggle. So many questions and constantly fighting the doubts in my mind. Am I supposed to be doing what I'm currently doing, how can I improve, what could I be doing differently, should I continue on this path, am I good enough??? I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way. I also sit humbly and ask God to guide me and pray that I'm exactly where he wants me to be.
When I decided to leave my full-time job and return to photography, I knew what it meant. I had already been through the long hours of editing, the disappointments & setbacks, but also all the joy that it had brought me too. The beautiful memories captured, and the friendships made.........but most importantly the ability to work from home in order to see my family a little more.
Finding your Purpose
So we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them. Romans 12:5-6 ESV
We were put on this earth for many purposes. But for some reason, it's really easy to get stuck on thinking that our main purpose in life is based on our job or position or on our performance as a mom, daughter sister or friend. Is this you? Is your identify perhaps wrapped up in a title?
I feel like I've worn so many hats in my life, but my love for pictures has been deeply rooted in my soul for as long as I can remember. I think all the way back to when I was about 3 or 4 and I can remember sitting on the floor in my parent's closet with a box of pictures scattered all around me. Just memorized by the memories.
In middle school and high school, I was part of the yearbook staff and continued to document that era through a lens. I have some awesome pictures from the halls of Gonzales Middle school captured in black and white that I cherish because one of my best friends is in them and she's no longer here on earth with us. In high school and the years that followed I always had a camera in my hand. I hold so many memories.........through so many different lifetimes.
The picture below is during one of my many lifetimes............way back in 2001 I moved to Fort Walton Beach, FL for a little over 4 months. This time deepened my love for photography as an art and my passion for documenting life. I worked for a true original artist who was a friend of mine. She was so creative and soooo incredibly talented. We spent long hours in the dark room, developing her magnificent work. Then there were days where we would just hand tint those fine art prints with oil, which is what I'm doing in this image. Even when we were working, she was still documenting. I ran across this picture a few days ago and I was transported to that time. It was a rough time in my life, but part of my journey and if I hadn't been there...........I know I wouldn't be where I am today.
I still don't know my purpose, but part of it has certainly involved photography in one way or another. I love making memories with all of you.
Here's to 2024.........................no matter what we are called to do for the day, the week, the month or the year.......just keep pushing!!!!
xoxo,
JB
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